Last time we discussed how conversation between two people should resemble the game of ping pong. But when more people join in, you need to shift to basketball.
With both sports and conversation, you need to keep the ball moving. But unlike two-person ping pong, it must be shared by everyone in the group. One person leads off with a conversational point. He then “passes the ball” (shifts the talking) to another person, perhaps on his own team (who shares the same point of view). He then enhances the discussion and moves it on. Then the conversation may be interrupted by an opposing team member, who adds something new and turns the conversation in a different direction. He may then either pass it to a teammate or carry it further, always watching what everyone in the game is doing, in case they want to take a turn. However it goes, everyone feels involved. It’s not just two-way talk.
So in a workplace discussion involving Anton, Jack, Teresa and Sung:
Anton (moving in direction A): It’s almost noon and I’m starving. Let’s go to lunch…
Jack: (continuing)Good plan. How about a nice pepperoni pizza at that new place next door…
Teresa: (changing direction to B)Nah, I can’t take all that cheese and calories…
Sung: (reinforcing that direction)Me neither, and pepperoni? I’m a vegetarian, remember…
Jack: (starting to reverse again toward A) Listen, they have really great salads, or just leave off the pepperoni…
Sung: (joining in) Mmm, then I guess that’s okay with me…
Teresa (nodding in agreement): Me too. Settled!
Slam dunk! Game over…conversation finished…good outcome.
Presenting your own point of view but eventually reaching consensus is important in American business. Communication is an obvious way to show you’re a team player, willing to join in and connect.
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